The Key

Have you ever been treated unfairly? Unless you have lived on a deserted island without other people, you can certainly answer yes to that question.

The world is full of bitterness and unforgiveness. Many spiritual and political structures are founded and built on bitterness.

I have met many people who I understand struggle with being able to forgive people who have hurt them.

I have struggled to forgive myself. Before I met Jesus and understood, through the gentle conviction of the Holy Spirit, I carried unforgiveness in my life. Unforgiveness that led to bitterness in my heart.

Through my own transformation, I believe I know that it is only through a relationship with Jesus that we can walk in the complete freedom that comes from a life of forgiveness.

From my own experience, I can say that unforgiveness soon becomes bitterness, and it takes root deep in your heart. It grows so strong that a person's entire personality can become distorted and disfigured.

This bitterness is a poisonous root that grows strong in the heart if it is left there. Often, we do not see the root, only the problems on the surface. Many people also spend a great deal of time trying to make the facade of their lives look beautiful.

They pull up the weeds on the surface when what they really need to do is dig through the surface and pull up the root.

Bitterness is what takes hold of you when you refuse to forgive. Bitterness is holding on to an injustice that has been done to you.

The Bible shows us that when a Christian is broken down by bitterness, it does not only harm that person, but it also affects other people.

"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many." (Heb. 12:15)

A bitter person often spreads the poison in their heart to those around them.

Friendships are destroyed by bitterness, and then friends are forced to take sides, which leads to even more sorrow and pain.

In my book The Girl Who Stopped Lying (available at https://sjobergsforlag.se), you can read about my life and how I was subjected to psychological and physical abuse for many years and was unable to forgive those who had hurt me.

Not until I met Jesus and experienced the power of His love for me. Only then was I set free. Before that, I searched for my inner peace through yoga, meditation and New Age, without finding it.

When the Holy Spirit got hold of my heart, a transformation took place in me from the inside out. I was truly born again. You can read about that journey in the book. I can promise you, it is an exciting one!

For a period of time, I was so bitter towards those who had hurt me. But Jesus taught me that there is no point in withholding forgiveness from anyone, no matter what they have done. It would only mean three things:

My heart would become hardened.

My relationship with Jesus would be damaged.

Self-righteousness would take over my life.

There is only one way to dig up the stubborn root of bitterness from the heart, and that is to forgive. Otherwise, we will live in spiritual captivity for the rest of our lives.

Then we cannot hear God's voice, and our lives will lack direction and joy.

How should we forgive others?

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." (Eph. 4:32)

Forgiveness does not mean that you should wait for the other person to come and say sorry to you first. If you wait for that, you may wait in vain.

No, forgiveness only requires one person. We do not forgive in order to set the other person free, but so that we ourselves can be free.

Forgiveness does not mean that people who have committed terrible crimes should get away with it. Absolutely not. But forgiveness is the act that frees us from our desire for revenge and leaves everything in God's hands.

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.'" (Rom. 12:18–20)

It is important as Christians to try to live as we preach. The testimony of the Gospel becomes powerless if we do not demonstrate it through our own lives. In fact, our mouths may say that God can forgive our sins, while our actions show that we are unwilling to give that forgiveness to others.

Some may now argue that it is impossible to forgive because the things that have been done are so terrible. That is true. You cannot do it on your own. Only God and His grace can help you. I am living proof of this.

If you read my book The Girl Who Stopped Lying, you can read about terrible things that happened to me and how difficult it was for me to forgive. How bitterness held me like a straitjacket. It was not until I received help from the Lord that I was able to forgive and become free.

Forgiveness is not a burden. It is an offer. An offer from Jesus to live a life of complete freedom.

Whatever terrible and painful experiences you have had in your life, I encourage you to forgive, precisely because Jesus has forgiven you all your sins and transgressions.

Forgiveness is a gift from God, given so that we can survive in an evil world where people hurt us, betray us and do terrible things to us. When we learn to forgive, we will live in freedom.

A heart filled with bitterness and unforgiveness is like a prison. It binds others, and it hurts you. Jesus can pull up even the deepest root of bitterness in your heart.

Pray that Jesus will teach you to live your life in forgiveness, so that you can quickly put any offenses that come your way in the future aside and instead hand them over to God.

Only then will you become completely free.

Every blessing!

Désirée Kjellin